Saturday, September 17, 2011




I've stopped blogging for nearly a year and the thought of writing again suddenly came rushing all over me.

I guess I should start writing again. Leaving random thoughts, writing things I feel like pouring out to the world, I'll make it a must for me. :) I'll make it a must despite how busy I am. I promise to blog about something everyday. So here I am pouring out something I've been having in my mind for quite some time. By letting this out, I guess it'll make me feel good eventually.

I'd realised that I've been chasing after things, you name it, love, friendship and what not. Life seems kind of lifeless without all these elements. Guess what? I've kinda let this go a couple of days ago when a random thought hits me, I've decided that I don't need all those when I can find them all in God. Happiness and love will find their way to you, there's no need for u to go digging n searching for them. When the right time comes, it'll come knocking on your door. It'll never be now, but it'll never be never. ;) Well, I've been dealing with people who treat me like a toy. When they want you, they come to you and when they don't they leave you hanging around, feeling all so miserable and yes, you wouldn't know how to respond to such situation.

This, seriously made me felt like crap. I'm a normal being and I don't deserve to be treated like this. And guess what, I don't give a cake about that person anymore though there are times when I feel like I shouldn't just let it go just because I've wasted so much time hoping and wanting to make things right. But it doesn't feel right, not after the cold treatment I've been getting from that particular person. I've decided to forget about everything.

Rushing into something, wanting to have someone in your life because you feel like a loner without someone. Well, it happens and trust me it's okay to feel like this. You're not alone. =) Seeing people and seeing your friends with someone special in their lives makes you feel a little lonely, isn't it? I tell you this, It's okay to feel lonely. I personally believe that to wait is better than to rush into something whilst you end up getting into a shitty-position because that person u're with is not the right person. :)

And one more thing, people have been calling me gay, lezza and all the nonsense for quite some time. Well, it's quite offending seriously. I am absolutely straight. I just love being myself and if u can't accept it, it's your problem not mine. Just because I've screwed up in the past, got along with the wrong person and he ended up screwing it all up, that doesn't make me gay. Just because I'm with noone right now, that doesn't make me gay.

Just because I used to have someone as close to me as a sister, that doesn't make me gay. She is my sister and yes I still love her and look up to her. So please, stop judging and keep that to yourself. Stop being all so nosy, sticking your nose into other people's business if u cant even take care of ur very own business.

Please, and thank u.

Sorry If I sounded a little harsh but it's the truth to be told. If you're going to keep following and reading this blog of mine, I got to be truthful about myself first. :D so yeah.

When I have the time and money, I'll start investing on girlie clothes, I will really. So please stop calling me things I don't wish to hear alright? I guess it doesn't matter what I wear right now, or does it really matter? Clothing is just a material thing. If someone loves you for your looks, for ur clothing, I'll say that's really sad. What's the point of putting nice clothing on, putting pretty makeups on your face when deep down u're full of !@#$% if u get what i mean. So please, stop judging. It hurts when people start saying things like "Why are you always like this?' 'Why don't you put on dresses n start wearing skirts?' 'That will stop people from thinking that you're not straight?' Is there such a theory? I mean really? -_-

Oh well. I'm comfortable with what I am right now. If people have a problem with that, I'll just ignore it and do what I do best in life with a condition, if God is totally happy with what I am now, then it'll be fine. If he's not and if I think I've been wasting my time on something that doesn't worth my time, I got to stop and start doing what God wants me to do. =)

All I care about is doing the right thing and being the right person in His eyes. That is all that matters.

This is real this is me.


And yesI'm officially back to the blogging word.


=)